Friends

I have to be honest.

Sometimes, lovemaking strikes me as possibly the strangest thing two humans can engage in. It’s just an odd thing to do when you stop to think about it. Even the mechanics of it. Just odd. A visiting alien utterly unfamiliar with both the urge and the concept would wonder, what the…?

Yes, I grant that this view is a detached one, but does that make it less true?

My other observation is that “things”—at least for me—tend to grow a lot more “serious” once sex enters the picture, dragging in tow baggage of God knows how many eons, and things that seemed perfectly tranquil just a week ago is now a churning river of uninvited feelings and assumptions, some to cope with, others to ignore—no matter how much I did not agree to let that motley crew in.

And often I’ve seen—known, actually—that things would have been just fine, and continued to be so, had we not engaged in this oh so odd behavior.

Oh, it makes so much “sense” at the time, doesn’t it? But what good is it, really? Other than propagating the race—which at this moment is in little danger of dying out by last headcount.

Friends. A truer state of affairs, at least in my book.

The Words:

It was your eyes
that enabled me to see
it was your touch
that enabled my touch
it was the thought
of a lasting life with you
it was that dream
and that hope
that saw me through

It was the way
that you cradled in your sleep
it was the way
that you showed me a way
it was the light in your eyes
when you smiled at me
it was the smile
in your smile
that set me free

to scale your mountain
to sail your ocean
to roam your earth
and your sky

to breathe your air
to drink your water
to know this river
would not run dry

It was your dance
as you twirled within my reach
it was your hand
as you gave me your hand
it was your sigh
as we fell our fatal fall
into the crimson
and the wonder
of it all

It was a world
in a world where I could see
it was a heart
in the warmth of a heart
it was a day in your day
in your sun and moon
how could I
know that this day
would end this soon

to icy mountain
to stormy ocean
to darkened earth
in your sky

I fought for air
I sought the water
I prayed this river
had not run dry

But signs
unspoken
downcast
broken
jealous
frozen
cursed
unchosen

stabbing doubts
as your friends arrive
wondering still
is our love alive
fickle tears
besway my view
and blink these eyes
as they look for you

But then I saw
beyond the chill
were we friends
instead of lovers
I could love you still

That's one thing
I truly saw
were we friends
instead of lovers

And then I saw
beyond the chill
were we friends
instead of lovers
you would love me still

That's one thing
I truly saw
were we friends
instead of lovers

Then we could smile
as we cater to our wounds
then we could laugh
at the strain in our laugh
and we could shrug
at the chains at the bars and palls
and we would
wonder at the chasms
and the walls

And we would ride
through the fields of letting go
upon the wing of the storm
that befell us
upon the waves and the waves
upon fallow shore
upon the why
we never thought
of this before

and scale the mountains
and sail the oceans
and roam the earth
and the sky

and breathe the air
and drink the water
and know this river
will not run dry

For then I saw
beyond the chill
were we friends
instead of lovers
I could love you still

That's one thing
I truly saw
were we friends
instead of lovers

And then I saw
beyond the chill
were we friends
instead of lovers
you would love me still

That's one thing
I truly saw
were we friends
instead of lovers

As you looked back
and caught me
with a smile

Ulf Wolf
May 1996/May 2015
Copyright © 2015 by Wolfstuff